Dear Autumn

Dear Autumn,

I mean... where do I even begin?? You have completely transformed into a little person in the span of 6 months. You have a matured so much. You went from being the reason for my daily prayer for patience, to my joy each and every day. Suddenly you were able to control all of that energy, that spirit and creativity, and harness it into such amazing, productive and imaginative activities. You suddenly thirsted for responsibility, independence. I love being able to carry on real, adult conversations with you. Watching your animated retelling of stories or your big ideas impresses me to much.

Your first day of school was a rough one. A video I will keep private shows you coming off the bus, your face melting and your little legs shuffling towards me. Tears falling down your face. I worried all day about you while you were gone - I felt physically sick with worry. To have you come off the bus in such a way - it broke my heart. I remember crying for you long after you'd gone to bed and after my need for a brave face was over. Every mom wants their child to do well when they go off to school, but knowing just how sensitive your little heart is, I may have worried just a little bit more. I encouraged you to do your best, and you stood a little taller knowing I was holding your hand back to the bus that next day. Wanting to make your next day a little brighter, and a little more safe and familiar, I surprised you at lunch with your favorite - a slurpee. You didn't see me at first, and I watched as you and your new friends happily smiled and laughed as you found your place at the lunch table. Instantly, my heart felt better. You were so excited, telling me everyone's names and all of the fun things you had done that morning. There wasn't an ounce of fear or worry in you, and in turn, none in mine.

Since that day, you cheer when you hear there is school the next day. You love school. Your teacher says you are a leader and a great example, and so kind and sweet to your friends. You haven't lost your stubborn streak, but you try your hardest and you're respectful of your teachers, which is truly all I can ask for. Like you said, "Just do your best and forget the rest." That's my girl. I am so incredibly proud of you.

• Clothing size - 5T/6T
• Shoe Size - 11
• Your meal of choice is a plain hamburger and "chickens". When I ask what you want in the drive thru, you're incredibly thorough. "I want a hanguhber, chickens, pop, and ranch."
• You can be so incredibly thoughtful. When I am sometimes not feeling well, you will run down stairs and grab me crackers and a bucket, "just in case I need to throw up." I'm not sure why every time I don't feel good it has to involve throwing up though...
• You're so animated when you talk, fluctuating your voice, almost like you're constantly on stage. The way you laugh or gloss over certain things while you talk... It's just fun to be around you sometimes.  
• After years and years, you were finally brave enough to do your speaking part in the program at church. It floored me because you hadn't done it in any of the practices, but you told me that "you were going to be brave, even though you were a little scared". 
• You're earning more and more trust and responsibility. I can give you iPad time in bed and tell you that at X time, you need to be done. Without asking, you'll come and bring me the iPad at the exact time, no argument and no complains. 
• You love to draw and to color. It's not uncommon for me to send you to bed and agree when you ask if you can color for a while. Also not uncommon - going up to bed and finding a drawn photo of the two of us, usually signed "Autumn (heart) Mom". 
• We try to go on dates quite often, especially because I notice your behavior changes when you haven't gotten enough one on one time with me. I remember sitting in traffic once, and you asked me if I didn't like traffic. You proceeded to tell me that you did, because it meant we got to spend more time together. 
• It's fun to go shopping and get your opinion on things. We don't always agree, but I want you to have your own opinions and tastes. Someday, I hope you'll happily want to come shopping with me, just as I love(d) to shop with your Nana. 
• Favorite Shows - Teen Titans, but really you don't like to watch TV all that much. 
• I wondered if you were too young to inherit your first American Girl doll, Molly. But I've watched you take great care with her. From showing her the ropes of your room to checking in on you at night and seeing her neatly tucked in under her own blanket with her own pillow. You're thoughtful. 

I can't imagine things will get better from here. Each year will come with it's own challenges. Being the oldest, we're forced to face them together and with inexperience. But I promise to be patient with you if you're patient with me. 

I love you!

-Momma